of the Permanent Record of Newjack Rasputin


I was of three minds,
Like a tree
In which there are three blackbirds.

– Wallace Stevens – 13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird,  (way #2)

What just happened?
Dreaming silly – hear all the voices?
It’s still the dawn of now.
Yes. And still in this… body.

Lie’s awake in that dawn (waiting for the next assignment) thinking about real other worlds that touch his own.
Disappointed but brave, perhaps a bit annoyed – but generous, scared & curious.
This is where it started.
Quite some time ago.

Will we really follow him where this story takes us?  By the Ill-Glimpsed Shears of Skuld Nornir!
Close this flimsy little book now.
The pretty part is over.  Having your soul sucked out through a straw…it’s ugly.
Poʻi ʻuhane omo koko. Nioke Hōkū-kau-ahiahi.

In this world my name was Tucker but now you can call me Jack.
There are 3 of us, that I know of, maybe more.
But three I can be sure of – of the three – the one I am the least sure of is me.

It’s ok, he didn’t like being that much anyway…
We did it to ourselves..
Shut up!
Who said you could speak for us?
And who can say shut up?
And who can say “you”?
Come on, remember what we decided –
But the magic is GONE!
You used it up!
Fools! Coward, fools, knaves – left behind to tend the fire like an old man!
Make your own magic – you don’t run out!
I don’t remember how
We didn’t do it
I was too new; I still required a great deal of supervision…way way way too inexperienced to be trying this.
We always were impatient.
They let you do this, you’re letting them down if you fuck it up
You must be strong.
Don’t forget, we’re strong. 

Know what’s really trippy?
You can see the clouds going slowly by if you look carefully in each of the mirror ball’s reflections, a hundred tiny camera obscuras on my ceiling.
I watch: I hope one day to see a aeroplane…..

And what portion of your life isn’t imaginary?

landing at the hall of records     seagreen and the old man    taking off from the beach